"It's good to diversify your writing. Just in case you get laid off."
REVIEWERS: David Rudden and Corinne Schulze
It felt a little surreal. Upon arriving at Corinne's Brooklyn apartment, I unearthed perhaps the most unlikely candidate for my frozen pizza, or "frope" review. There are plenty of other, more widely recognized brands, but I had chosen Trader Giotto's Organic 3 Cheese Pizza--Trader Giotto being the official store brand pizza of the Trader Joe's market chain. At least, I thought it was--I've met plenty of Italian-Americans named Joe, and not a one has been called Giotto in my presence. Odd nomenclature notwithstanding, I hadn't expected to pick such a healthy and obscure pizza for my first review. In all fairness, I hadn't expected to be conducting my first review from a Brooklyn apartment either.
When the box was removed from the paper grocery bag, the first impressions were not great; Giotto looked like he had been to war, as the cardboard was torn and the box bent. If the box was in this conidition to start, I probably would have passed it over and dashed to the Food Emporium toute suite. I took into account that the pizza had been resting in a bag in a subway car for 45 minutes--which is probably as close to combat as a frope will ever get--and proceeded, though I asked Corinne to snap a picture of the fropes' deformed abode.
I removed the pie from the box. It was very soft, as it had probably thawed a bit from the warm subway platform. It felt a bit more like a regular pizza than a frope, but I was already used to bucking convention on this, my first review. At Corinne's behest, I picked a frope that best represented her; organic and earthy. It was the least I could do. The girl had basically brought an idea I had been dragging my feet on for years to life. I thanked her for all of her help and she grinned, saying "It's good to diversify your writing. Just in case you get laid off."
Corinne thought the frope was too small to make a meal out of, so she decided to prepare a salad. Frozen pizzas aren't the best candidates for a freshly-prepared side salad, and my usual frope-accompanying glass of orange juice was sounding less appetizing alongside vinegar dressing. Wine would be overdoing it, so we each grabbed a bottle of Brooklyn Lager. Corinne cut her part frope in half, while I left mine as complete as possible. Some habits just won't die.
We set down and started eating our fropes as we began the night's entertainment; Delicatessen and The City of Lost Children, two films from Jean-Pierre Jeunet. The pizza, organic as it may have been, was still subject to the same frope mores. The dough was pretty stiff after coming out of the oven, and I went to work on the frope in the same bizarre manner I do every time, by devouring the least delicious part--the crust--first. I warded off a look of incredulity from Corinne as I got to the heart of the pizza--the cheese. The non-crustified dough and the three-cheese blend were quite good at the beginning, and I made the odd-shaped half pizza conventional-looking in no time. Then, something odd happened. I folded the frope, and the taste folded in turn. Something was off, and I finished the pizza with less enthusiasm than I had at the start.
Our respective parts of the pie consumed, we averted our eyes from the cannibalistic comedy for a minute to discuss the premiere frope. I had enjoyed it for the most part, surprised at the low price for and pleased at the lack of grease from the organic pie. Corinne agreed; in fact, she revealed that she had been frope-averse for quite a few years after ingesting a particularly greasy DIY pie. We each had a second helping of salad as we continued to watch the movies. Had there been more, we probably would've had more pizza, too.
Hi David,
I never knew there was someone out there who had as much a love of frozen pizza as me. If writing reviews on frozen pizzas paid, you would find yourself in stiff competion for a job! For now, I'll just enjoy your reviews and explore my frope options!
My very favorite frope is the Trader Giotto's 4 cheese pizza. I love thin, crunchy pizza, and this is perfect. Because the crust on this pizza is VERY crunchy, and the pie is a bit doughy, I will roll the pie around the crust and eat it like a wrap. It is perfection.
Posted by: Carrie | July 01, 2008 at 11:54 AM
Hi David,
I never knew there was someone out there who had as much a love of frozen pizza as me. If writing reviews on frozen pizzas paid, you would find yourself in stiff competion for a job! For now, I'll just enjoy your reviews and explore my frope options!
My very favorite frope is the Trader Giotto's 4 cheese pizza. I love thin, crunchy pizza, and this is perfect. Because the crust on this pizza is VERY crunchy, and the pie is a bit doughy, I will roll the pie around the crust and eat it like a wrap. It is perfection.
Posted by: Carrie | July 01, 2008 at 11:55 AM
Hi David,
I never knew there was someone out there who had as much a love of frozen pizza as me. If writing reviews on frozen pizzas paid, you would find yourself in stiff competion for a job! For now, I'll just enjoy your reviews and explore my frope options!
My very favorite frope is the Trader Giotto's 4 cheese pizza. I love thin, crunchy pizza, and this is perfect. Because the crust on this pizza is VERY crunchy, and the pie is a bit doughy, I will roll the pie around the crust and eat it like a wrap. It is perfection.
Posted by: Carrie | July 01, 2008 at 11:55 AM
Hi David,
I never knew there was someone out there who had as much a love of frozen pizza as me. If writing reviews on frozen pizzas paid, you would find yourself in stiff competion for a job! For now, I'll just enjoy your reviews and explore my frope options!
My very favorite frope is the Trader Giotto's 4 cheese pizza. I love thin, crunchy pizza, and this is perfect. Because the crust on this pizza is VERY crunchy, and the pie is a bit doughy, I will roll the pie around the crust and eat it like a wrap. It is perfection.
Posted by: Carrie | July 01, 2008 at 11:57 AM